What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
