Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
