Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
