David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
