We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
