just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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