Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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