Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
