I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
