Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
