he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
