you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize