hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
