i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
