Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
