Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she looked like the before picture.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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