Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
