her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
