I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
from now on my penis is your penis
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
