addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
