What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
