Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
