I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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