You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
