Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
