omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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