If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
