he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
