I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
