Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
