i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize