I'm jealous of your bromance
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize