I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize