You can't motorboat a personality
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
