this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
