I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize