i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it's not cheating when I paid for it
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
