So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I believe in your delicious
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
