Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
high people should be assigned attendants
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
