I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
