i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
