Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
