Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
