i think i have two assholes
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
