well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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