The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
