She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just googled if crying burns calories
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize