Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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