he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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