if i can run in heels then i can drive
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
