White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
try to milk me bitch
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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