I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize