Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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