Tell her she can't have a vagina
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
