So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
