i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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