cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
