They should really pass out barf bags in church
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
