I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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