Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
