Can Purell be used as lube?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize