I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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