party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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