You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
