I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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