so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
