I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize