Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
