So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
