Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
